First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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