Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
