Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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