I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
