Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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