Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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