I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just invented taco cereal.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
