apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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