Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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