I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
