I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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