that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize