It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He felt like a one man threesome
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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