Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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