I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
