I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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