I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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