I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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