I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
