Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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