Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
