That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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