so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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