Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
