I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Randomize
