You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
