Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
home. puking in laundry basket.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
