doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
