He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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