Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
