the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
