best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
