I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
