I'm jealous of your bromance
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
