you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
