Dual....:-)
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
NoShamevember. You game?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
