why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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