i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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