Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
