I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I love you. Go after that dick
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
