He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
