So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
