You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
