Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
His nipple licking is glorious
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