then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
