I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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