i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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