nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
