i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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