I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
