thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
