I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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