I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.