Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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  (302): is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"? http://tfl.nu/82yu
  Replies (13) Good night (2779) Bad night (999)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5393) Bad night (775)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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  (214): He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome. http://tfl.nu/msec
  Replies (10) Good night (4550) Bad night (784)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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  (832): I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed. http://tfl.nu/rvfy
  Replies (38) Good night (8912) Bad night (1953)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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  (484): I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere. http://tfl.nu/zvpn
  Replies (20) Good night (5319) Bad night (1059)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag

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  (908): I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag http://tfl.nu/s6m9
  Replies (9) Good night (1285) Bad night (4467)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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  (215): We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/xg35
  Replies (14) Good night (3171) Bad night (1685)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty

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  (505): koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty http://tfl.nu/dl5w
  Replies (29) Good night (1617) Bad night (4228)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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  (413): she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust http://tfl.nu/ucdh
  Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (850)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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  (330): She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager. http://tfl.nu/suup
  Replies (5) Good night (1320) Bad night (645)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me

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  (708): I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me http://tfl.nu/82r8
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (618)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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  (980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd
  Replies (1) Good night (979) Bad night (420)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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  (443): i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream http://tfl.nu/zdot
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (1453)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after

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  (289): our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after http://tfl.nu/x4st
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (350)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner

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  (613): I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner http://tfl.nu/w0oh
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (355)

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