Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

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  (616): STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW? http://tfl.nu/6356
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (664)
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  (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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  (323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842
  Replies (13) Good night (1674) Bad night (594)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.

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  (904): Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once. http://tfl.nu/hkfi
  Replies (19) Good night (1420) Bad night (4350)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

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  (303): I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history. http://tfl.nu/d9a3
  Replies (20) Good night (6771) Bad night (998)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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  (516): The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina". http://tfl.nu/tnih
  Replies (17) Good night (7834) Bad night (1180)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3323) Bad night (1368)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (386)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.

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  (480): So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely. http://tfl.nu/qe4o
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (399)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.

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  (248): Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible. http://tfl.nu/imqp
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (431)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem

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  (920): I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem http://tfl.nu/jbp9
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (386)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.

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  (412): I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA. http://tfl.nu/jgm4
  Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (469)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.

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  (408): I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was. http://tfl.nu/1g06
  Replies (0) Good night (911) Bad night (376)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album

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  (313): He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album http://tfl.nu/c2eb
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (417)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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  (313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (339)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging

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  (251): The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging http://tfl.nu/8h2b
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (128)

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