And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.