We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.