Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2405) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.

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  (514): What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign. http://tfl.nu/l1zt
  Replies (11) Good night (723) Bad night (3496)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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  (678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k
  Replies (6) Good night (2507) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

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  (602): Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest. http://tfl.nu/apc8
  Replies (37) Good night (8878) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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  (203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug
  Replies (17) Good night (1337) Bad night (3228)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

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  (270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/4et1
  Replies (11) Good night (936) Bad night (3507)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window

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  (775): Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/dk3n
  Replies (10) Good night (1931) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I know, she tried to drink it

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  (260): He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street. (317): I know, she tried to drink it http://tfl.nu/h1z5
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (2562)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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  (845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1471) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song

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  (+44): He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song http://tfl.nu/ouwi
  Replies (4) Good night (1685) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.

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  (248): I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/l2qb
  Replies (9) Good night (1292) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.

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  (503): Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too. http://tfl.nu/9ocy
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

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  (412): i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms. http://tfl.nu/uje7
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"

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  (330): You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!" http://tfl.nu/8fdl
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food

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  (530): No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food http://tfl.nu/tmk7
  Replies (1) Good night (184) Bad night (464)

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