Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
