You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I just went to clothing optional bar