I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
