If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Duck Duck Cougar?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
