Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
