My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize