If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
