I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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