a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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