Me too!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize